splutter idiot

oh..my...god

i can't believe i did what i just did!

having dinner with auntie and uncle over.. and ohmygod.. we were having hot pot with egg noodles and other little appetizers that go into the hot pot

there weren't any chairs left, so i sat on the hammock adjacent to the dinner table and just ate normally while looking after my little cousin Hannah and i was thinking as i ate
"ohmygosh, i never realised how squishy kids looked...especially the babies, they're REALLY squishy looking, like their faces and that... didn't aivan tell me this once? that babies were squishy looking?!"

yes, a dumb train of thought i know. but hey, you have to admit they are squishy looking

and..right then and there as i was thinking that Hannah was inbetween of a... laughing-but-going-to-start crying face
(or some sort of face anyway)

and it was hilarious
i could NOT stop laughing! and guess what? i had a whole load of soup in my mouth and i choked on it! woohoo

IDIOT!

*ran to the sink, spat it out, started laughing like an idiot*
oh the scene...

and whats better? she pulled the face again, and i choked a SECOND time

i honestly have issues.

bah, anyhow, this biology needs to be studied
but i can't seem to manage it! last night, tony was DRUNKKKK... and now it makes me want to nick some alco from the cupboard-under-the-stairs and mix it with coke too... (mum restocked the coke supply! YOSH!)

muahaha, i wonder what smirnoff tastes like...

strange encounters of the city kind

as you can see, after skipping out of study periods after the maths exam yesterday, me and nhu went to the cityyyyy!!

yay!

we went to the artgallery, the state library and the museum! such a cultural-ful day and after all that we were absolutely exhausted!

and all the photos we took..phew!

and standing at the state library i noticed someone who looked like yo! (twin) but i turned around he was kinda gone... haha

and then... me and nhu caught a bus to the city and we aaaaaaaate food! coz we were both so uber hungry and looking at art-dinosaurs-books-theories of evolution were absolute draining really! and we met up with jason

and woah. we ran into phuong and jermia and conversation was strange as it gets... phuong is so nosy!

*leanne sees jermia and phuong in school uniform walking this way*

Leanne: oh shit nhu! its phuong and jermia shit shit shit

Nhu: *looking around*

*phuong catches leannes eye*

leanne thinks: oh shietface

Phuong: LEANNE!

Jermia: Hey leanne!

Leanne: heyyy~ *strains a smile*

Jermia: how'd your maths exam go?

blah blah blah

Phuong: so why are you in the city? to meet your boyyyyyfriend?!

Leanne: uhh no! i'm bumming around with nhu! *looks in nhus way and wishes i were somewhere else*

Phuong: oh no no, i;m not talking about nhu being your boyfriend, i mean the OTHER boyfriend! the one you met at the school gates the other week! oh oh ohh!

Leanne: hehe.. he is kinda... *looks past jermia's face and sees jason walking up this way and thinks 'shit, bad timing!' and waves to him*

*jason walks up*

Jermia and Phuong: :O

Phuong: HI LEANNES BOYFRIEND

Jermia: hiii~

Leanne: *introduces everyone*

*we talk about the maths exam a little more*

Jermia: well we gotta go

Phuong: yeah...BYE LEANNE'S BOYFRIEND

Jermia: bye~

Leanne: i'll see you on tuesday or soemthing, bye~ *tries to smile*

and glorious timing for nhu, right after that nhu walked up because she had finished ordering and receiving her sub from subway!

and on cue..

Nhu: BITCHHHHH

hahahaahah, yeah so it wasn't so bad, we sat around ate, had an awkward silence until nhu broke it by saying

"someone do something"

LOL, so we decided to go to the funhouse and play tekken and nhu is uber pro ! it was so COOL! she ALMOST beat this other random guy... and yeah, jason left to go to work and we bummed around and went to play pool and go to a bookstore, buy ice cream and walked around and went home

but as we were sitting at the bus stop, what a coincidence, yo walked up the bus timetable and stared at it and i said 'yooooo....yo..YO!'

and it was YO!

my twin! who i havne't seen in SOOOO long!

argh i missed seeing him around hahaha

so good to see him! and we talked for a while about his new haircut which is uber short but i like it anyway :]

he was only upset bcause it was too short to style ):

and we all just talked and rah rah rah... and cue scene with tony getting off the bus and 'not disturbing us'

and then we left and said goodbye to yo

and so the night wraps up (:

andhere i am today, saturday, attemping to study what Fasciola hepatica is (scientific names must always be underlined, ms butz says!)

which is technically the pathogen of the Liver Fluke

and my brain is going to explode from tiredness..!

wish me luck memorizing all these names and B cells and T cells for biology exam on wednesday!

ciao! ♥

othellothellothello

othello, the unit we've been studying in english for so long now.
and what have i learnt throughout the entire production? jealousy is a mad emotion that is uber way destructive and should be controlled!

but it lies innate within ourselves since the dawn of humanity and we can't do much about it except suppress it as much as possible

but i hate feeling jealous. its a sick emotion. i dont like it one bit.

on a more happier note, i should be recounting all the fun stuff i did today at the city after my terrible maths exam shouldn't i?
but i just can't shake this horrible feeling...

on my way home today at the bus stop with nhu, we ran into yo (my beloved twin) and we chatted away and stuff. but what i didn't realise was tony was in the bus that i was planning to catch. he saw us and assumed yo was the proclaimed 'jason - the boyfriend' and decided not to 'disturb us' as he said.

and so he noticed...but didn't say anything.

but have a soddy proverb to make your day, "curiousity kills the cat"
and in this case curiousity makes one jealous, which really sucks

and so, in conversation with tony earlier, he was in the city and i asked him what he did and if he had fun, you know... the small talk

and turns out, he had dinner with a good friend, who happens to be female
and that dinner happens to have lasted 2 hours

dinner..in the city... at night... personally, two people

something i've always kind of wanted i guess, but i can't complain, i had fun today

so it wouldn't matter to me whether she was his girlfriend or not, because i'm already committed and have no plans of breaking anything off

i know i know, you are committed now, you can't think of anyone else blah blah blah

but for some reason i can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy

and i can't do much about it but suppress it to my best ability.

in the hopes this feeling fades away, ciao~

oopsies

i apologize alanface!
i skipped you in last nights blog!



here you go! gomen!(japanese for sorry) ^^'


alanface - i dunno who could crack such racial and insulting jokes as you can! and the upside? its all jokes and most of the time they're all really lame, but you wouldn't be alanface without them. i could always trust you to make me laugh when i need it most and even if you wouldn't even know if i were sad, the thing is, you would always cheer me up without even knowing. i only wish you'd be nicer to me sometimes. but i guess thats asking for a lot since i call you gay all the time. i wouldn't know the meaning of lame jokes if it weren't for you, you jerk. thank you :)

and for now, i guess thats it. but right now, i really need to study some more maths..especially the probability stuff...ohdear..i must get to it now

see you soon! ciao!

kudos

i'm really glad everyone is in my life

yes i know, WTF am i thinking?!

i'm thinking, just in case i die or something during exam blocks (which starts tomorrow) i'll have at least something to say to all my good friends dont i?

everyones so special.. x] i'm lucky to have you here with me!

haiyen - the person who i can always turn to when i dont know what to do, even if we're always trying to catch up because we haven't seen each other in a long time, you always make me feel complete because i can always talk to you whenever i need to and i know you'll always be there for me as i am for you.

aivan - you are absolutely admirable, i dont know how anyone can do better at anything than you. this includes life, love, happiness and ..well basically anything! i can always trust you and your always lend a helping hand whenever i need it. especially when you crack jokes all the time that reminds me of cartoons!

lena - someone who i can always depend on, no matter how extreme and shaky life is. i can always depend on you for a good laugh over nothing and i can always talk to you whenever i need it. i'm not sure how i could survive high school without you!

nghi - sadistic, sarcastic, somewhat sympathetic nghi. i can always trust you, no matter how crazy my secret is. you always give me the best advice and i can always look to you when i need help with anything (schoolwork, relationship issues, friends, parents, your sadistic nature itself...lol). i'm really glad to have known you, and i love making bets with you because i tend to win all the time. remember - duty, breach, damage!

tony - we barely talk, but everytime we do i feel like i could simply say anything. but i just tend to find a peace within myself and know that everything is going to be okay. you make me calm and happy. even just seeing you makes my day feel a little lighter! when i come to you for help, you always have the right piece of advice and you always manage to make me smile. thank you.

colin - if i hadn't known you colin i wouldn't know who to turn to. it hasn't been too long since i've met you, but everytime we talk it really 'clicks' and you understand me to the utmost, and i really appreciate that. thank you for helping me see and telling me the things that you have.

nhu - no one could ever have a better bitch buddy. or a doucheGod for that matter! you always lift my spirits when i'm most stressed and ready to jump in front of a train. always helpful and great to talk to, especially when in need of a release! no one else is better to look to than you for help in friends and parents when no one else is available to talk to. i guess we're just too proud. :]

andrea - there is no one easier to talk to! i can always depend on you whenever i need a decision to be made in life and i can always trust you with anything. you're always ready with an action plan to help me get 'unstuck' in life and are willing to stick with me all the way through until things get better - no matter what! and i can always trust you help me smile because i'll know you'll always be there for me through the tough times as well. thank you for helping me become the person i am today.

jason - a good friend since long, and now... well, thats unexplainable. but no one else is better to have a laugh with. all the jokes you crack, the way you say 'gg' is just too funny. i dont know where we would be in the future, but right now is what matters and i'm loving every second of it. and if anything were to ever ruin what we have, it can't be helped. but always know that i'll be here for you, and i believe you will be for me too, even if you forget.

yo - ahh twin! i'm sorry i've neglected you! we haven't stayed in touch for a long while now. but i always know i can turn to you whenever i need it and i'm so happy your there for me too even though we dont talk much anymore. you are always willing to help me achieve my goals and keep me sane with your witty jokes and chinese-ness!

and so far, thats all the people i know at the top of my head right now, but to all those who are unmentioned, you have all shaped me to become all that i am today and i thank you! thank for you all the memories we've shared together and your constant support!

ciao bella~ ♥

another day

credits to postsecret

another day!

another day towards exam block, and whats even better than exam block?

having jason pull a depression down on you.

i dont understand why he's being this way.

i'm trying to help him, but how can i if i dont know whats wrong?

pathetic and useless, what else can i do?

i'm sure he'll figure it out somehow

hopefully without the smoking, cutting and suicidal plotting

he's going to start me smoking, cutting and suicidal plotting.

i hope he turns out alright.

i really do.

PS> thank you tony.

it means a lot to me ♥

i need

i need:

• to eat
• to study
• to sleep my share of 8 hours per night
• to focus
• to calm down
• to smile more
• to stop carrying around panadol everywhere i go 'just in case'
• to complete my legal studies assignment due tomorrow
• to go to bed before midnight
• to stop bursting into tears at any moment possible
• to stop thinking about my parents
• to get things over and done with
• to postpone my emotions and thoughts
• to actually enjoy what i do from time to time
• to lose myself in a world called books, 'memoirs of a geisha'

i need all these things so much right now, because i am on the verge of a breakdown because i need to learn how to handle things better

every weekend lately has been a dilemma weekend, but i'll explain some other time why. because right now it is currently 12.27AM and this legal studies research book isn't going to write its own notes

wish me luck

maybe i'll sleep in tomorrow

no..i have to catch the bus, wake up at 7am as usual

i need my holidays, i'm so wretched. pale faced, baggy eyes

in my words, 'pandaface'. 2 weeks of blocks, i can make it.

hopefully.