Kyoko

When you’ve hit basically rock bottom, the only step after that to make yourself better is to have a good old fashion cry fest. The “can hardly make coherent words come out of your mouth due to the dramatic sobbing that is also simultaneously death gripping your wind pipe” cry. Its the climatic ending that your entire being has to have in order to reset itself to get better. We’ve all been there. Anything can set it off, you can’t force it. It could be a song on the radio, a certain person who offers to listen, a stranger that hears you, or even the weather. It doesn’t matter how the ending surfaces itself, the point is you have to have it. Just like all good things come to an end, so can bad things.

But sometimes that cry is very hard to come by. You’re waiting for the refresh, but it seems like your emotions have caught the spinning wheel. The frozen hour glass if you will. You can’t force your eyes to well up or force feed your body to reset. I mean, well, you can cry but it won’t be the one you need in order to move on. It’s the worst feeling. Even worse than being at the point of rock bottom. You know you need it. You want it. You want all of the negative feelings you have to just pour out of you until they’re gone but you’re just not getting it. You’re not getting the exit. So you wait. And while you’re waiting the feelings just keep building on top of each other and you’re constantly getting heavier..and heavier..and heavier. All you want is a release, and not being able to have that is absolutely horrible. It’s a kind of torture I truly wish none of us ever had to go through.

Kyoko has a blog.