Dear Grandmother,

I'm being eaten alive by research, word counts, a wholesome amount of deadlines and family pressures. The workload at uni right now isn't as bad as it was before, but I'm super stressed lately because I've been working more and people like you make my heart hurt.

I know that's not a very nice thing to say.

But since my parents have separated, I have reason to believe that you are spreading terrible rumours about my mother. You're horribly judgmental about everyone, my mother, le boyfriend for example.

You're totally obsessed with one of my friend's mothers, who seems to meddle in our family business quite a lot just by circumstance, which only fuels your gossip even more and it's a horrible situation for me to be in because I have to live with all this gossip and people asking me questions about 'what really happened' between my parents.

It's pretty simple, dad was unfaithful, mother and father didn't get along, and I think you remain an eternal  gossip machine for eternity. Rumours like my mother having a boyfriend, dad never cheating, it was just harmless flirting, mother was psycho crazy and bitched about everyone. I don't see why two sides of the family couldn't just simply treat each other a little better and sort things out.

I do wish dad hadn't cheated, and you were a little more concerned about everyone's welfare instead of just focusing on your son and your side of the family and treating my mother like shit. I wish my mother hadn't gossiped so much either, for your sake. But we're only human, everyone's reputation is ruined anyway.

But even still. I had expected that after the separation was over and dad moving out would be a good thing. That both sides would leave each other alone and stop creating a crazy whirlwind of a horrid adventure for all of us. But no, rumours keep coming.

According to what I've heard you say, sexism is awesome. Men should be breadwinners, women should remain in the kitchen, pop out babies and raise them. You love your own bloodline so much you fail to recognise anyone outside of the family. I think you need to be more open minded. You lean towards misogyny, that you are worthless if you lose your virginity before marriage, that girls shouldn't date measly boys who are tattooed. I wonder what you would do to me if you found out that I am everything you would never want in a granddaughter. You judge people on their social standing and their education. Someone who dropped out of high school is a bad person, and those who have phDs are better than everyone else. Be a doctor. Why don't you study accounting? There's good money in it.

It's a lot of pressure for me, and sometimes you;re just plain mean. Several years ago, you gave me an expensive dress as a gift, now you ask me to return it to you because I've gained weight since then and want to give it to someone else because they would make better use of it. It's so horribly rude, I was speechless. I told you I might still fit in it, I'll try it on when I have the time. But you had to insist that I don't have any use of it anymore.

Why are you claiming your granddaughter's clothing? It's rather rude and cold hearted of you.

You were such a warm, forgiving and loving person when I was young and ignorant.

I apologise that this is such a sad and rude post. But this is what I see and think of you. Correct me if I'm wrong, please, I wish you would.

yo ho yo ho it's off to work we go

NAHT.

I have a cold. And it's really bad. And I hate myself. I need money, but I've taken the day off work tomorrow which should give me extra time to work on my assignment. But obviously that's not gonna work out if I keep hacking up phlegm and blowing my nose as loudly as an air horn would sound right next to your ear.

I've been drinking about five pots of tea per day, new personal best if I do say so myself. Even though I'm terribly sucky at researching and writing my assignment I did manage to drag my ass outside today though. Clad in gross sweatpants and an old shirt, I did some grocery shopping and stocked up on nutella, honey-centred throat lozenges, some lasagne and ice cream and managed to go and rent more movies despite the fact that I have deadlines right up my ass.

Yesterday le boyfriend came over, and brought me cake and made me lukewarm tea. And then we rolled around in bed and watched movies and played repetitive games on the iPad. What a nice guy, but I managed to make him sick. You go, Leanne. It's like that Pandemic game all over again, only except my disease is actually catching on.

Anyhow, I'm gonna go drink some more tea and roll around in bed and play games like see-how-high-you-can-get-your-fever and tomorrow morning I plan on crying myself to death over the fact that I've missed work and losing out on money. sadface.

gloomy days, cheesy post. sorrynotsorry

OKAY, I'm being a bit of a creeper right now but I'm in an odd, soft, sad kind of mood. I'm not sure where I'm going with this (very) short blog post, but don't you just love (and hate) seeing pictures of cute couples hanging out, doing stuff? Your heart fills with so much love your bones ache.

I think, when I have the chance, I'd want to go to Mt Tambourine. Stay in a little cabin, breathe in the chilly winter air and watch the sunrise. I know it sounds cheesy but I would be so comfortable there. As opposed to here, where I have deadlines and work to do.

harro

 

WOW I'M AN IDIOT. This whole time, I thought that if you changed the URL of your blog you'd lose all your posts etc and so I was thinking of moving the blog on a new platform like wordpress. BUT FORTUNATELY FOR ME, as I am uber lazy to change to a new platform  (or blog at all, hawhaw) I found that you can indeed change the URL without any issues >_>

MY NEW NEW URL IS leannerahrah.blogspot.com yay!

On my side of the world, my internet at home sucks so hard I can barely do anything on my laptop without the webpage crashing, it's a miracle for anything to work anymore. Also watched a (TERRIBLE) movie last night, Supercroc, ever heard of it?

B rated, shitty animal thriller movie. Giant crocodile is found, it's ancient is totally hungry and wants to eat people, so the people decide that they should kill it and then piss off the poor mama croc by stealing her eggs and so she goes ape shit and ventures into the city to find it's unhatched babies. Everything about this movie is horrible: the lighting, the acting, CGI, like.. everything. I'm not even joking. This is the worst movie I have ever seen but apparently there are worse movies out there. 

It suddenly makes me feel super grateful for super awesome blow-your-mind destroy-your-world awesome movies like the Avengers. God damn, the Avengers. ♥

IN OTHER NEWS, hopefully going to go see Iron Man 3 on Friday night. It seems that almost everyone else on the planet has already seen it though, BUT NONETHELESS. 

I also really want to go see Perks of a Wallflower and The Silver Linings Playbook but since I missed it in the cinemas I'm waiting for the movies to rotate from the 'new release' section to the 'weekly rentals' so that I can watch the movie several times in a week for CHEAPER. So smarts. 

and I've been so busy with uni work (I'm actually studying for once!) and generally sitting on my ass all day that I don't venture out to be social anymore. I'm usually found holed up in le boyfriend's bedroom watching bad movies, playing games or sleeping or at some drive thru picking up food at 12am. Good stuff. I don't really have much to blog about other than harping on about my nonexistent social life and reasons for not blogging, and I'm not gonna say that I'm gonna commit to blogging either (because we all know that is a precarious position I'm putting myself in). 

Okay, I'm done here, bye!