So if anyone could remember as far back as about a month ago, I had this thing where I tried to grow into a (relatively) normal adult human being. Well, it didn't quite end up as planned because whatever I start, it starts with a passion and then fades, burns, and explodes into a fantastic display of pretty bright colours and dies.
Since then, I've had a terrible time because of family issues (read: grandma won't shut the fuck up and keeps spreading rumours and saying nasty shit about me). Even though uni and working isn't too stressful right now, I wouldn't mind being super rich because that would help out with my life a lot right now and I'm also going through this materialistic, shallow BUY-EVERYTHING-I-DON'T-NEED phase. I get this phase about twice a year, and it mostly happens around the time where I don't have money or don't have money to spend, or around Christmas time.
So I'm poor, helpless, and half the time I can't even study because my laptop keeps burning out and I can't afford a cooling pad for it.
And that clean eating phase I tried? That burned out too.
It worked for about a week but I was just SO hungry and I craved CARBS. My favourite foods aren't even pasta, pizza or sushi anymore. My favourite food is now anything with CARBS. But not anymore, I don't crave carbs anymore because all I eat are carbs now. Props to those personal trainers and fitness gym junkies who clean eat every single day. That takes a lot of effort and a hell of a lot of self control!
And speaking of which, I haven't been going to the gym as much as I feel I should either. I go maybe twice a week? I guess that's acceptable enough.
For now, I accept defeat. But don't you worry, imma get back up and do things right. (Soon, just not now. Shoosh.)
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