You know...

That feeling when lately everything has been really bad. Disappointment after disappointment. Everything really sucks. You're stressed, you're tired. Multiple pills in one night just to be able to rest your head for the prescribed eight hours only to wake up the next morning to go through the same thing, over and over again.

Then something happens. And you're faced with a choice.

Choosing to accept something good to happen now, and dealing with a full 24 hours of anxiety later on. Or. Deal with 12 hours of anxiety now, and be able to rest on a particular Saturday night.

Don't try to understand what I'm going on about. I don't quite understand it either.

And when something nice happens, it's really refreshing.

Really refreshing.

I'm grateful for the crisp Autumn breeze and the dirty washing.

It really helped me clear my head.

Thank you.

Haven't slept in three days. Haven't had coffee in fucking forever.

Everything makes me want to roll over and die

Dear Facebook, You suck ass.

And also, I apologize (if anyone even reads this) for the huge as hiatus from the interwebs.

Don't worry, it's not because life is so truly epic and I'm having a wonderful time being awesome.

But in fact, it's because university is being stupid, and I'm skipping classes and I've been falling behind on work a lot and I just really wanna get out and get wasted and end up dead on the streets. But even I've no money to do that.

So yeah, life is pretty hectic. Excuse me for being an arrogant asshole.

Tsk tsk.

Leanne what have you become? Being told to follow your heart. Look at you, you stupid mess.

Sort yourself out, get used to it.

Be happy again.

I think I have anxiety and trust issues. I really don't like them. It keeps me awake at night and my imagination running wild.

Mirrors, water and fish.

In my dreams, I tend to have dreams where I am dying. I always manage to see mirrors, water and fish. I dream of dying too often.

Sometimes its' my friends who murder me. Other times, I suicide. Most of the time though, I find myself in accidents.

When I die, I'm always content. I don't know why.