ekka - brilliant & dismal?

the moon & its neon lights

My day – brilliant & dismal.

Woke up today and read the new book I borrowed out from the library called Beautiful Malice by Rebecca James (really good book for something that sounds very cliché) and mum walked into the room and told me that dad left home to go somewhere and I lost hope that I could change his mind to let me to go the ekka. Instead she told me she talked to dad and in the end he let me go, on the condition I come home early….

So I called Jason a few times to ask about things, and I knew he wasn’t too happy. i wasn’t sure what to think, he didn’t seem excited at all…

But we met up and I said hello to Jenny and his little cousin, Nam; and greeted Jason with a hug. But still he didn’t seem happy.

We took the exhibition train to the ekka and walked around and went on the breakdance ride, played the camel racing game, hooking ducks (won a blue frog for Nam!) and watched Jason play poker! It was really fun (in my opinion anyway) and I think Nam and Jenny felt the same. But clearly, Jason didn’t.

Then we went around to the showbags and Jenny bought a hello kitty showbag, and so did Jason for his friends birthday, and I bought two pokemon showbags (for me and alex) and walked around for a while before getting confused.

Thinking about it now, we didn’t do much at all and it took 3 hours just to go around. I think our mood was really dampened today. I really wanted to see the animals, but I didn’t want to say so because of Jason and I think Nam and Jenny were enjoying themselves before we stopped outside the departure train station. I think this is where it all went downhill….

Jason was irritated and bored – and I hate it when he feels that way. It makes me feel like he doesn’t give a shit in the world about everyone else and just cares for his boredom and nestles against it and once its gotten to that point, nothing can tear him away from being bored.
He didn’t smile all day, let alone laugh. All he did was shake his head and whenever he spoke the words cut and they hurt.

He asked jenny what else she wanted to do, but only an idiot wouldn’t realise that Jason was horribly irritated and who else (with a functioning brain) would truthfully happily answer someone who asked a question with a tone of voice that was irritated and impatient? Obviously, Jenny just said ‘I don’t know’ and Jason just got pissed off and asked Nam and me about what we wanted to do.

At this point I wanted to step in and tell him to lay off Jenny, tell him that we’re not going to get anywhere with him having an attitude like that. To me, the way I see it, Jenny wasn’t treated very well and that upset me.

But I didn’t, because it wasn’t the time and place for another argument and somewhere something was ticking inside my brain (the empathic side of my brain, obviously) and told myself that he was just tired and having a bad day and this was just the result and that Jenny could understand the same.

Well I sure hope she did, but after that we went to the city and Jenny and Jason played DDR after eating sushi at Alan’s.

Even Alan noticed Jason shitty mood. We left and he said goodbye, being polite and all, but Jason didn’t hear him or something but Alan knew and I had nothing to say but smile apologetically and wave goodbye on Jason’s behalf.

We went to see a movie after that – Knight and Day. And Jason didn’t see the movie with us either. The movie was good and we all enjoyed it which was really good! I thought since Nam was from Vietnam he wouldn’t be able to understand everything and really enjoy the movie – but I was wrong, we all liked it and said it was good in the end! :)

Then after that we walked to southbank and strolled around. On our way back to the bus station though I ran into Tommy, I hardly ever see him so it was good to bump into each other. But I’m pretty sure Jason’s mood plummeted after this. Because Tommy came up and we had a little greeting hug and asked how about how we were – small talk stuff. But Jason walked off as I introduced Jenny and Nam.

Jason certainly isn’t over the ‘zone’. The ‘zone’ where I have too many guy friends and my habit of having to hug people.

I’m not even sure what to feel anymore. Sometimes I think, maybe he should be a bit more mature and have a little faith in me. Because my friends are friends, I’m not the type to be unfaithful; and to me love is love. Friends and love are big difference (romantically, that is).
But on the other hand, I can understand to an extent how he feels and where he’s coming from. If he were going out with girls and hanging out with girls all the time… well I’d accept it, but sometimes I probably would feel uncomfortable – especially times when I feel insecure.

Well anyway, I really like his little cousin and it was really good seeing Jenny today. Despite the bouts of anger and tears welling up, I think it was a good day overall.

Tomorrow I’m going to uni from midday – 1pm at KG to do some research participation with S. Mautilik and earn 1% of course credit and then meet up with Ai-Van at UQ’s lolly shop at 2pm and we’re gonna go pick up Nam and Khang from school and it should be super fun :)

By the way, my mood was quite deflated today at the ekka and i cleared out 2/3 of the memory on my camera to take heaps of photos (with the expectation that everyone else was excited too) but instead I only took two photos…. I wonder if I’ve lost any photos… I really hope not

Well ciao and goodnight

PS. I didn’t even get to tell Jason my whole story about the cuts in my finger. The story really was fun… but I guess he didn’t have the heart to hear it today…