giant leap of faaaaaaaith

TODAY i turned down loc dinh

and asked ashen how he felt about purple

TODAY i flushed my dreams of tony down the drain

and forgot all about jason

OH i am so stuffed.

HAHA. this formal better be awesome bitch

OTHER than that i had a fantastic day (not)

and i need to work on english

OPEN day was shit and hot and boring

and so is english

WISH me luck!

and ciao ♥

twirl for me

heyyy there~ guess what? today is MONDAY and you know what that means? pay-alex-a-deposit for the formal stretch hummer thingy TODAY of which i did !

and ooh err

its rather trippy, this whole formal pizzazz. bah

formal buddies! i need one..where to find one... gawd, why are there so many i-wants involved? ..ahh oh well..

SUCK MY BALLS FORMAL

(that is if i had any, of which i dont)

loc isn't optionless... but ashen is .. maybe i'll say yes to him

but ..TONY! bah, this whole thingy is frikkin confusing as

ah forget it. i was gonna recap on this weekend~

went shopping with mother to look at formal dresses on saturday, i was literally bored shitless and trying on dresses was such a pain in the ass. found a nice purple on at wayne cooper (750, sale -> $400) and a nice one from Lisa Ho ($1500) and a really nice cream coloured lightweight soft luxurious dress from Cathy something something in wintergarden... ($700)

so after much quarrelling i decided to go to the formal and decided to get the pretty grape purple wayne cooper dress (which is uber versatile so i could wear it almost anywhere, even convertible to strapless/non strapless and sleeves/sleeveless and adaptable tieable ribbons..mm purty) but yes on sunday i went to the city to pick up the dress and met up jason

and went to buy the dress with him and yes it was quite strange.

the saleswoman was hilarious though

L: 'uhh.. i wanted to..show a good friend of mine for his opinion'

Saleswoman: 'oh you need a second opinion? where is he? i'll go get him! is he the boy sitting on the bench?'

L: 'haaha! yes i think so!'

Saleswoman: 'oh my, he'll think i'm completely crazy *runs off and drags jason into the store*'

*silence*

L: 'umm what do you think?'

Saleswoman: 'do a twirl for him to see!'

J:'....its great'

she was quite the woman, and i liked her very much

then i walked jason back to wherever he was meeting his friends, said a quick goodbye and tried to find a bus to QUT to get to the open day since... i was supposed to meet up with colin and tiana~

i finally found a bus heading to kelvin grove and asked the bus driver if the bus went to KG. and he was like 'uhh.this bus goes to the QUT busway, it'd be better if you were more specific' so i hopped on anyway

and just as i turned away from the bus driver this lovely girl on the bus who seemed to be a student there maybe? said 'you're on the right bus~'

she had black hair, plaited neatly to one side, pink flats, black and white checkered jumper and big sunnies - thank you oh so much! i owe so much to you because if you hadn't let me know i would have been stuck in the middle of chelmer somewhere, so thank you so much!

and thanks to the speakers and uni professors from QUT for all the helpful talk about the university subjects and courses - it really helped me get my head around things!

and thanks to jason for his awesome help on choosing a dress for the formal.. even though all it was was 'it looks great *thumbs up*'

but yes, after QUT for about 3 hours walking about and talking stuff out i finally made my way back to the city to have lunch at Tonini's at Broadway where i ran into one of mums friends! she was great~ we chatted, asked how she was doing, just the basics and greeted her once more before heading off to walk across that mega bridge to southbank

along the way i had to walk past the casino and as i crossed the road i heard this really melodramatic flute music playing over the heavy rush of traffic and it sounded absolutely wonderful ! i would've thought it was playing from a band or something from the casino? but turns out it wasn't! it was a busker sitting outside the casino playing a traditional chinese flute instrument i think

but nonetheless, it sounded great - but being me, i just walked past and enjoyed 10 seconds of the music

so then, i sat down.

and pulled out my wallet and walked back towards the asian guy with his chinese flute and put all of whatever that was left of my spare change into his brown cap and smiled

what a nice guy.

i honestly dont remember a day where i said 'thank you' so many times in my life so far

and i'm honestly saying, thanks to everyone who helped me out on that day because if it weren't for you i'd still be totally dumb about what uni courses i wanted to take and whether i was on the right bus to kelvin grove or not etc

thanks so much~

and i shall leave you with a few nice lyrics by Weezer~

You can’t find the words to say
All the things that come to you
And
I wanna feel it too

We’ll run away together
We’ll spend some
time
forever ♥

ciao!

the buddy system

hello~ been slack on blogging lately coz so much crap has been happening and i really can't be bothered documenting every tiny little itty thingy thats been going ons, but then again, no one really reads this so whats the point. muahaha

ah well, i'm only blogging to rant on about formal shits anyway and how shitty it seems.

but before that, i wanna recap yesterday because it was an awesome day :]

early at abouts 5pm, woke up and prepared uniform to go the business breakfast for legal, hospo and BOM students and ooh it was exciting even thought everyone was so uber sleepy! we showed up on college bus to the rydges hotel and phwoahhh.. its nice. not five-star-jaw-dropping, but still very nice and cosy

the rooftop was the best part where glass covered one half of the walls and you could see across to the city and the wheel of brisbane and along southbank. everything looked so small and it made me think 'wow, we're so liiiiittle!' or in a more intelligent context.. 'humans are uber small creatures and only a small part of this world' and its pretty cool how everything out there is a lot bigger than us, but when we set our mind to something we can take over the world itself (y)

(excuse the mushy anecdotes)

so yesh, the students went around and mingled and ran into some college alumni! like waiwai! it was so good to see her again :] then we had an old english breakfast and listened to waiwai's and mr david liddy's (CEO of bank of queensland) speeches and they cleared our plates while the speeches were going on and so to be polite, we decided to stop eating and listen to the speeches

and they cleared my plate

with 2/3 of the save-until-last hash brown and a small scoop of scrambled eggs

i really wanted that last bit of hash brown, damn, why did we have to be so polite..!

so yes, we had breakfast, mingled with business people for a while (mingled as in, hi my names leanne *eats breakfast*) and then we left on the college bus and arrived back at school

then continued school and loc's little 18th birthday get together at the village where we ate chocolate ice cream cake and had strange awkward moments together

we all met up, the asian viet guys, me alex and nhu and BAM! tony and ady and their asian taiwanese group

tony: "make a wish for me loc! *holds hands in heart shape*"
loc: "....what is it?"
nhu: "i think its his heart thats beating for you"
HAHA.

we all sang happy birthday and eventually everyone left except loc cong phu cuong and myself ~
we bummed at the lake and played tiggy and kicked around shoes and vodka cruiser bottles and watched the sunset together (L)

and then loc decided to be confusing and say "leanne would you like to go to the formal with me?"
and so, i replied with a "...what?"

yeah, smart move leanne.

but i told him i'd think about it.
but hey, the same day, ashen asked too... via text.
while we were sitting around eating ice cream cake. LOL

and now i'm totally confused about formal because a) i dont know if i'm going and
b) i've been asked as a 'formal buddy'

but well and truly for some reason, i was half expecting jason to bring up the formal because from what i remember he seemed to want to go. but as change of events have happened, i dont think he does anymore. so not my problem.

on the other hand... i sort of... maybe...out of my league...would enjoy going with tony.
but then again, we're so different. he has his asian groupie and i have my own friends you know? and i guess it would be a little strange too. that and the fact that he probably doesn't want to go with me anyway and he might not be going either.

so ooh err.

then after lake-ing with loc and co. i went to indro to look at formal dresses and found none too pretty or appealing because i'm so flat and so not into dresses and shit

but i bought a book instead

lewis carroll's vintage classic book of 'alice's adventures in wonderland and through the looking glass' and.... *sighhhhh* i want to read it but i'm afraid if i read it all in a few nights it'll be over too soon.... ah the love of books T^T

oh yes... so skipping back to today now...

after school i walked home with ashen today... it was nice and normal. normal talk and normal stuffs and it was really cool :]

and i need an action plan to figure out if i want to go to this bloody formal or not. because i have to decide by monday because we have to make bookings for the stretch hummer

and so far the tallys 4 for black and 3 for pink coloured stretch hummer....
PINK... D:

haha but i dont know, i hope things sort themselves out soon because i'm not sure what to do about anything right now...

and i hope jason will bring up the formal sometime so i can sort this out, i dont want to bring it up with him because its weird since....i broke up with him and i'm being stubborn and stupid.

but i wont be able to get anywhere with tony

and now that i think about it, neither will i with jason.

yeah.. things should work out for themselves soon because i really cannot decide. ashen and loc are both so nice and they're both my friends... and they're friends with each other too

if i said yes to one of them, i'd have to reject the other.

ah shit.

well... wish me luck with my crappy decision making skills

ciao!

silver invitations

today is the 16th of july and at about 3.10pm the senior students of forest lake college received their silver-blue enveloped invitations to the senior formal on the 21st of september and personally, it makes me want to hurl

i'm so unprepared, i still dont have a dress and all that stuff and i dont know if i want to go or not...
at the moment i only want to go because its a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity and.. the fact that i want to ride in a stretch hummer (lol)

but besides that, its so friggin expensive and time consuming and a total pain in the ass

and then again, i woulnd't know if it was a pain in the ass unless i really went now would i?

i dont know if i should go... eh...

everyone else is so excited about the formal and everything and i'm just sitting there quietly thinking 'i'll go if the venue has balconys'

because its always nice to go to a formal outing anywhere with nice balcony's overlooking the city :3

but other than that, i dont see any other reasons to go

seating plans, transportation ($900 p/hr *omfg*), dress, shoes, mani/pedi, hair, makeup, date...

call me picky, lazy, unorganised, stubborn or unenthusiastic because 'i haven't got anything sorted yet' but... it definitely doesn't persuade me to attend

whatever it is thats bothering me, it better be sorted by the 28th of august and i'd better make up my mind soon

i gotta head off, ciao~

messed up optimism

LIFE IS SO MESSED UP.

woo i mean talk about crazy

now he's telling me he still loves me (no need to expand on that)

and that yi husan lin is just a friend (who kisses him? ...no need to expand on that either)

but... phwoah life is messed up.

i quote this guy whos friends with lena: "go back to the basics!"

so i'm asking myself do i still have feelings for him?

nghi told me "Nothing to do with guilt, nothing to do with feeling comfortable with someone you know. You, as a woman, are you still attracted to that man?"

wooooooooooo, i need to sort out my priorities :]

oh by the way, me and my mother went to visit his parents today at their fish and chip shop. i hung out with his sister her friend (who are twelve years old) and played cooking mama on the wii (BOOYAH)

oh, and i got to talk to his dad. given that for a while i kept thinking 'i used to love your son, your son loves me, what do you think of me now?' while my mother was there (yes, the mother that went up to his father and said 'you are a bad parent, learn to teach your son about relationships and get him to stay away from my daughter') it was rather weird, but things were brazen and ... kinda fun.

his dad didn't stop giving me deep fried food stuffs to eat, and his mother smiled a lot. they seem like a lovely family but i didn't know his father smoked too? or maybe i'm just assuming, since... a mobile phone and a packet of smokes were left on the table where i sat (so i assumed it was his fathers mobile ... and his smokes)

so.. ooh err, i dont know.

i'm so messed up.

jason thinks i dont care. of which, i do, but i'm so confused right now. i need to sort out my priorities and figure out if 'I, as a woman, are still attracted to that man...'

ahh.. where are you tony, i need a hug = =

well at least i'll be going out tomorrow with nghi, and things will certainly be AWESOME!

and maybe if i run into jason, i need a talk with him. sort things out, he needs to know i do care (but that i need to sort myself out first)

wish me luck! i need some sleep now, ciao~ :3

J is for Jerk

(okay so they're not Js, but you can imagine)

(nice photography too :) )

jason you JERK

i mean NOTHING to you

and so now in turn, you mean NOTHING to me!

all your stupid corny lines about how i'm 'unique, different, cute' or whatever is A LOAD OF BULLSHIT!

hmm.. how did that go again?

'i love you leanne'

yeah RIGHT

'i love you more everyday'

'i miss you so much, i want to see you'

'i want to talk to you'

'can i come see you?'

'I was wonderin if u would like to come and watch ice age with me..?'

'Reckon we could be together again when u finish school..?'

'I didnt mind if u push me aside'

'Never felt like this before on any girl..'

YOU ARE SO FULL OF IT.

if you're going to say things like that at least mean it

and if you really felt that way you wouldn't have gone around to other girls and told them you loved them too

why didn't i notice. its written all over you! you wouldn't stay, would you? you might say you would've, but we all know you're not going to

what was i expecting? too little, and too much.

i can't believe i fell for the things you said, i don't believe you anymore.

and to think i wanted to make things right with you again so that things could go back to the way they were.

but not anymore.

its too late.

so screw you, its been a long run.

and its been fun but i'm going to move on now

you are so full of it :)

you bug me

you bug me.
you bug me a lot when you try to talk to me and the only reply i can get from you are mumbles and stupid little emoticon faces.

you dont even try to talk to me through mumbles and stupid shambles, but the best you can come up with is a 'how are you' and then you repeat all your stupid 'ehh's, mm's, hmm's, yeahhs and righteos'

if you've got something to say to me, why dont you say it? why do you hold back?

nobody sits there to listen to you say 'ehh' for two hours, now do they?

so grow up.
i'm through listening to you speak like that to me.

i dont care if you're lazy or if you genuinely want to talk to me.
just dont speak to me if thats all you're going to say because i have more important things to do than listen to you mumble and waste my time when you've got nothing to say.

you could at least try and be interesting.

But the best thing you could come up with is 'o.o'

Surely you can do better than that.

I'm out. Ciao.

POST NUMBER 69

AHAHAHAH i can't remember but its a been while i've laughed at the number '69' i know its immature but who cares!

hahaha

well.. i got back from sydney 2 nights ago and wednesday and boy i'm shit tired
hahah
and its only just hit me that we've only got one week of holidays left

jesus christ they went by fast! i wish they'd stayed ...!

and in so little time i have to go out and do my chores and keep myself busy and learn to drive and get totally driven crazy

i was hoping for his holidays to just wind down and do nothing but a few of this, a little of this here and just relax but no, its been so full of it already!

parents wont stop their parental nagging about how bad my report card is, or how little i've been doing around the house lately, or what i should be doing and whatnot. argh, shut up and leave me alonnnnnnne! i can't even sit down and watch a movie without mum having to nag her way through the door and telling me to do something else.

christ, its term three next term and dont i get a grace period where i can just hang out on the holidays? it is the holidays after all!

but i can't really say that after my parents let me go to sydney can they? ..ahh if only!

i'm just so tired and disappointed. the whole break up and jason being all unsure and kind of mopey.. oh i just dont know.

the soppy report card
the soppy ex boyfriend
the one - week holiday left
the nagging parents
the so - much - to - do - so - little - time syndrome

with only a week of holidays left and so many promises to fulfil! i told nghi and alan and haiyen and cam that i'd go out with them and blah blah blah plus the driving lessons and chores and the nagging parents and the ..ARGH i'm being driven up the wall on the holidays

my head literally hurts now that i've though about it...

and i doubt my parents are going to let me out too... what a prick.
ugh.

i feel so lazy! i dont want to do anything but sit around and do nothing and/or go out.
is that too selfish? but i'm so sick of putting up with the parents nagging for a whole 10 weeks with the boyfriend thing, and i finally did what they wanted me to. and bam, here they go again, nagging again! only about different things only to compensate for not nagging me over the term because i wasn't doing any chores

sort of like them thinking 'oh she's got a boyfriend, lets nag her about it and save the nagging about the chores for later'
so once the whole dramatic scenario is over they go and think 'oh thats over, lets nag her about her chores because we missed it out before'

yeah right.

i finish dealing with one thing, and all i want to do is relax and whine about my disappointing grades and with them constantly saying "oh... you know why you got a bad report card right? *hinthint BOYFRIEND*"

is that what parents do? they just .. rub things in? i'm sorry i tried to make things better maybe i should just keep this going and do what you said and drop out of school

why dont i?

i'm so tired of all this.
its not even a big deal but i'm so sick of it.
i can't pretend its not bothering me.

i want to be left alone to do what i want, please.