messed up optimism

LIFE IS SO MESSED UP.

woo i mean talk about crazy

now he's telling me he still loves me (no need to expand on that)

and that yi husan lin is just a friend (who kisses him? ...no need to expand on that either)

but... phwoah life is messed up.

i quote this guy whos friends with lena: "go back to the basics!"

so i'm asking myself do i still have feelings for him?

nghi told me "Nothing to do with guilt, nothing to do with feeling comfortable with someone you know. You, as a woman, are you still attracted to that man?"

wooooooooooo, i need to sort out my priorities :]

oh by the way, me and my mother went to visit his parents today at their fish and chip shop. i hung out with his sister her friend (who are twelve years old) and played cooking mama on the wii (BOOYAH)

oh, and i got to talk to his dad. given that for a while i kept thinking 'i used to love your son, your son loves me, what do you think of me now?' while my mother was there (yes, the mother that went up to his father and said 'you are a bad parent, learn to teach your son about relationships and get him to stay away from my daughter') it was rather weird, but things were brazen and ... kinda fun.

his dad didn't stop giving me deep fried food stuffs to eat, and his mother smiled a lot. they seem like a lovely family but i didn't know his father smoked too? or maybe i'm just assuming, since... a mobile phone and a packet of smokes were left on the table where i sat (so i assumed it was his fathers mobile ... and his smokes)

so.. ooh err, i dont know.

i'm so messed up.

jason thinks i dont care. of which, i do, but i'm so confused right now. i need to sort out my priorities and figure out if 'I, as a woman, are still attracted to that man...'

ahh.. where are you tony, i need a hug = =

well at least i'll be going out tomorrow with nghi, and things will certainly be AWESOME!

and maybe if i run into jason, i need a talk with him. sort things out, he needs to know i do care (but that i need to sort myself out first)

wish me luck! i need some sleep now, ciao~ :3